Does Facebook Trash Talk Mean The End Of Social Media?

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Just before Facebook's IPO, GM announces they are taking their ball and going home, the game doesn't work and they are not going to play anymore. The next week the wealthiest investors, who don't seem to have any idea of what social media is all about, invest in the most anticipated IPO in recent history on a stock market that ironically has technical difficulties. Instead of doubling their money by day's end, they walk away with less cash...way less. By the next week, everybody is an expert and suggests they predicted the demise of Facebook. Really?! Now, as Facebook's stock continues its downward spiral it seems in vogue to declare that people are abandoning Facebook and that the brief era of social media is going the way of chat rooms and dodo birds.

Problem is, I don't think so. At least not for social media.

People intuitively desire to tell others what they are experiencing, and Facebook has been a great platform for doing that. I concede that Facebook traffic is down, but there is not another common platform just yet that the masses are willing to embrace. People migrated en masse from MySpace to Facebook in large part because Facebook was easier to use, and perhaps more socially acceptable for people who were not 16 year old girls. But it does not mean people have stopped using social media tools to get their experiences out.

Case in point, the other night we went as a family along with my wife's office coworkers and their families to see the Sacramento showing of Wicked. If you have not seen Wicked yet, GO...but I digress.  Perhaps because this group is mostly lawyers, accountants and financial planners, society has us on the balcony. Whatever the reason, it is a great place to observe people during the intermission, and observing others is something I love to do. As the break happens, the lights come on and all across the auditorium people are either making a bee-line for the restrooms, checking their cell phones, or in some cases, doing both! It was pretty impressive to see all of those little blue square screens light up across the crowd. People were tweeting, texting and checking messages. Some may have even been posting on Facebook, but I am not sure...no time to ask. The point is, they were all actively engaging in what is otherwise known as social media.

Whether or not it is appropriate to do this while your friends stand around you with their hands in their pockets will be the subject of another post.

Using technology to share experiences with others who are not physically present is social media. Chat rooms went the way of the dodo bird in part because they were too time bound to be a useful tool, and in part because there were too many people you didn't know inserting themselves into personal conversations. This was not good. However, as long as the population is highly mobile, people will embrace the technology that keeps them connected with the folks they care about the most. That is something I do not see changing any time soon.

Don't Step In the Cow Poo!

My parent's were in town this weekend and re-shared a story of a time when my son was about 3 years old and staying with my parents on their cattle ranch. Walking across the cow pasture, Grandma helped avoid the numerous cow pies with a simple warning to watch out for the cow poo. As they zig-zagged across the field, they came to the winter feeding area, one end of which had a rather large mound of cow manure that the tractors had pushed out of the feeding area to clear the ground. What was a fairly disgusting hill to most adults became a Mt. Everest that needed to be conquered in a child's mind. With surprising speed and determination, grandson tore off to climb manure mountain, leaving grandma in the dust with little to stop the horrifying collision of child and poo but a shouting appeal to STOP, DON'T CLIMB THAT HILL!

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Whether it was the shrill in grandma's voice, fear of the unknown or the action of an obedient child, forturnately for grandma, her grandson stopped short of becoming a brown ball of muck. Of course, bewildered, he turned to grandma to ask why not, to which the instructive reply came that the hill was in fact a really large pile of cow poo. Confused, my son turned back to the hill of manure, studying it for a moment before asking a simple question of childhood wonder:

"Was that a big cow?"

Experience is a great thing. From experience we gain wisdom, we develop an ability for insight, and we use it to frame an intuitive understanding of what we are experiencing in this world. In fact, everything we experience for the first time is filtered through a mental filter of past experiences that help us form an understanding, or perspective really, of our new reality. This tool of interpretation happens instinctively, we are not overtly aware that we utilize it. Consequently, it is easy to expect others to have the same intuitive sense that we have. It is easy to get frustrated with people who don't seem to get it.

Social media as an expression of human community is fraught with intuitive misunderstandings. The reality is that early and middle age teens do not necessarily have the life experience (and at times the cognitive ability) to interpret the social messages they are experiencing or understand the rippling social consequences of their own postings. Even though it may feel that teens want their space, it is important for adults to be very aware of their kid's social footprint, being available to guide young people away from the piles of poo that are often present on social media postings.

The best way to accomplish this is to walk these social fields together, being ever available both online and off to provide an additional perspective of the manure mountains.

Blessings on the journey!

Brad

Why You Don't Want A "Social Media Voice" In Youth Ministry

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Looking through an upcoming conference website I noticed a break out session focusing on social media. Of course, this gets my interest as I pretty much always take the time to read such descriptions. Most of these make me angry and this one was no exception.

The thrust of the breakout is that social media exists because the cry of the human heart is for community and this cry fuels further social technological advances. The description sets up a sort of snapshot take of social media, a mere and incomplete reflection of real relationships. The story is the same as many of these types of sessions: we as a society do not get the community that we crave and so we have set up these complicated computer mediated networks that simultaneously attempt to connect us yet safely keep us at arms length with each other. The answer is to simplify our lives, yet not abandon social media completely because there is a need for a Christian voice in this medium.

Let us not abandon these poor digital souls who do not know any better but to engage in empty relationships. Let us take pity on them and tell them instead there is a better way. Let us be a voice to the lost, let us draw them to our blogs so that we can be encouraged by our stats and the multitudes will know the truth and be informed that what they really want is a non-virtual relationship.

Yes...that paragraph is dripping with sarcasm.

The problem is that we are so conditioned by entertainment we use this as a background to interpret what is happening on social networks. By doing so, we limit the impact of social media to how many followers we have, and measure significance by audience. Consequently we completely miss the ministry point, and conference organizers continue to throw away precious Kingdom resources because we do not understand why our young people's smart phones are an extension of their arms.

Social media does not exist because people deeply desire community, social media exists as an expression of community. It is a place where people tell those they have a relationship with what is going on in their lives.

The primary motivation to joining a specific social networking site is friends. The biggest technological change efforts in the social media landscape is not how to build the largest audience, but how to segment your friends into relational circles, so that you can interact with only the group you intend to. Bringing a voice to this is like yelling in a digital wilderness. Additionally, teens are bombarded with so much data they cannot possibly take it all in. We do not win by merely contributing a voice to that onslaught of data. We win by being a part of a teen's offline network so that our online interactions are an extension and reflection of our existing offline relationship.

We win by listening to what people have to say.

Which leads me to wonder, how do you decide which voices to help navigate the social media wilderness do you listen to and why? How do you evaluate them?

Cyber Bullies Fueled By Sarcastic Abilities

Cyber bullying is a popular topic among adults who work with teens, and rightly so, nobody wants to see kids emotionally destroying one another. Its sad, it tugs at our heart and it motivates adults to step in before someone gets hurt. Cyber bullying is a complex issue with multiple levels of motivation mixed in with developmental limitations and inadvertent offenses. One very intentional ingredient though is sarcasm.

As early adolescents begin to think abstractly, the realization sets in that they have an ability to say one thing that implies something completely different. How cool is that! Its like discovering magic, and of course, practice makes perfect...

Give a kid a hammer and everything begins to look like a nail.

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Why sarcasm works is because it is a two sided coin. It tears someone else down while it appears to build someone else up. The majority of intentional cyber bullying activity occurs with a group of friends in front of a computer screen. Everyone wants to matter, but young teen girls constantly have their 'do you like me' radar on and this group of friends provide an unwitting audience to their cyber genius. Where off line bullying may end sooner because somebody sees the pain of the victim and eventually has the courage to step in, among more concrete thinking early adolescents, empathy for the victim will not come without intentional prodding. Someone who can think abstractly needs to connect the dots for a younger person who thinks more in the here and now.

Young teens do not intuitively have empathy for a person across a social network.

Educating young people can help, but it will not typically serve as an inhibitor for those who will choose to use sarcasm to cyber bully. Instead, we need to educate adults, equipping households with mental models that allows for adult awareness of and guiding participation with, adolescent Internet activity. Only adults living life online with their teens will help curb such a destructive behavior among early adolescents.

Questions: How have you seen or experienced the use of sarcasm to bully?

What are some ways that adults can be more aware of what teens are doing online?

Facebook Not Making The Wealthy Wealthier

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As the third day of trading gets underway, Facebook continues to not make the wealthy wealthier. By the end of trading the first day, fingers were being pointed. Close out the second and people are estimating where the bottom will be. Mark Z has said the business is driven by a social agenda and not investor's wealth. So far he is proving his point.

Other than the obvious over-valuation of the IPO, there is a fundamental difference in how Facebook operates compared to other Internet giants like Google. Companies want to be able to advertise in a way that makes sense to them, project a product in a manner that causes people to spend their money on it. Google can do that by target advertisements linked to search engine queries. As GM pointed out last week, Facebook was not effective in doing that, consequently they were pulling the plug on site advertising. From a return on investment evaluation, it was not working.

The adult majority population continues to see the Internet as a tool best utilized for disseminating information. Social networking sites however are not built on that, they are built on relationships. It is not the information a company wants me to know that matters, it is what my circle of 'friends' are experiencing that matters.

Facebook is a giant human web of relationships about 1 billion strong. Advertisers want to envision that as a giant crowd of people all staring at a screen as if they were waiting to buy something. TV did that - everyone watching experienced the same thing at the same time. A digital web of relationships does not operate simultaneously, it operates in waves. What is important is decided by the community, by the network, by the relationships.

Someday, somebody, somewhere will figure out how to make a boatload of money riding the waves of human relationships. Oh wait, somebody did...we call if Facebook.

Let me know, did you the think Facebook IPO would soar or tank? Gut feeling or valuation?

Hyper-Texting As A Barometer Of Teenage Pain

The American Public Health Association defines hyper-texting as sending more than 120 texts on a typical school day and characterizes these individuals as being primarily lower social-economic, minority females with no father residing at home. The APHA study reports that one in five high school students fall into this category and the risk factors for this group include:

• 40% more likely to have tried cigarettes
• 2x more likely to have tried alcohol
• 43% more likely to be binge drinkers
• 41% more likely to have used illicit drugs
• 55% more likely to have been in a physical fight
• nearly 3.5x more likely to have had sex



INDUSTRIAL BAROMETER
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• 90% more likely to have had 4 or more sexual partners

The study then identifies hyper-texting as a new health risk factor.

Clearly there is a positive correlation between hyper-texting and risky behaviors. However, it seems premature to implicate texting as the culprit and not a symptom. Could it be that hyper-texting is more of a barometer of the ongoing abandonment of our youth?  In this case, a key piece of information seems to be overlooked, namely the lack of fathers in the home. 

To me, texting is a way that teens can bring their friendship cluster along with them despite the limitations of space and time. A cluster is a group of friends protecting each other's back and they exist to help teenagers survive in our culture. Cell phones provide ongoing and immediate connection to this cluster, a phenomon I have labeled Floating Entourage. Have you ever asked a teen to turn their phone off and they protest because their friends might need them? That is an example of a Floating Entourage and disconnecting them from that is a threat to their support structure. Hyper-texters are a great example of this.

What these teens are lacking is paternal (father) experiences in their life. Characteristics of this type of support will include trust, communication and closeness as perceived by the teen. No one can replace a father in the home, but everyone can begin developing webs of relationships with these at risk students, slowly becoming a part of their Floating Entourage of support. As you interact with teens, keep alert of those who may be hyper-texters, they especially need adults in their life willing to have no other agenda but to be there for the student.

To read the study directly, click here
APHA

Keep loving on the students in your life,
Brad

Hunger Games: Teens Killing Teens For The Enjoyment Of Self-indulgent Adults

Putting aside whether this movie is a protest against the 1% or the inevitable outcome of socialism, for those of us that believe the life stage of adolescence exists and is getting longer because youth are left to navigate their journey to adulthood alone, this movie serves as a commentary on adolescent abandonment.

Due to an uprising that was squelched by the high-tech Capital, the 12 remaining districts that make up Panem are forced to offer as tribute their greatest resource - the generation of tomorrow - one male and one female between the ages of 12-18. Along with 22 others, these two teens are forced to fight in a gladiator meets Survivor epic battle to the death. The last living tribute is crowned victor.

Adult masses play two distinct roles in the film. The vast majority are worker drones so beaten by the political system that they are a shadow of humanity, powerless to care for the youth in their lives. Their world is grey, bleak, hopeless. The other adult crowds are the self-indulgent masses, the uncritical consumer feeding an insatiable appetite for entertainment. Though their world is full of color and creativity, it merely serves to mask their pasty existence. In this part of the adult world, there are no teens in the crowds,  adolescents have no space and little interaction with adults except for that which has been set aside to prepare them as entertainers. The crowds stand by, either indifferent or helpless until finally, at one awful moment in the film, the anger and pain become catalyst for a quickly squelched riot. The Games adapt to maintain the balance, and the crowds are quickly distracted.

The leading characters of youth in the film are portrayed as fatherless, left to provide for each other and forced to remind grown-ups to act like adults. Their mentor is a jaded drunk who originally counsels the teens to accept their fate. Their only hope before and during the Game is to depend on themselves and master the art of playing to adults to acquire the necessary resources for survival. In this world, even love becomes suspect as adult manipulation to secure necessary ends. The best any adult who cares for these teens can do is offer advice, provide props that might help win adult favor and offer good luck. "May the odds ever be in your favor".

The books and now this movie are being embraced by teens and it seems doubtful this is due to any social economic message. Somehow it speaks to their experience of abandonment even as it seems like a caricature to adults.  An apocalypse may not serve as the background setting of our culture, but that aside, are we really all that different? Adults in our world are highly stressed, seemingly living either at the edge of exhaustion or the brink of financial disaster. In this world, the home becomes enclaves of escapism and altars of entertainment while physically shared and public interactive space for youth and adults continue to be reduced in gathering spaces like our work, churches and vacations. Consider the Internet, where the vast majority of teens are active apart from any significant adult guidance and interaction, yet we expect 13 year olds to use social media as if they had adult abilities and wonder why 16 year olds post risky online content seemingly oblivious to any social consequence. In this culture, the virtual world becomes a natural place for teens to connect with their friends, allows them ongoing and immediate support, and on occasion can be a tool used to destroy one another.

From the perspective of our youth, are we really all that different?