This Year: Resolve to Text Your Teen More

As it stands, the teens in our household do not have texting on their phones. Our high schoolers get it from two angles. As a researcher of adolescent social media use, I don't necessarily want them growing up experiencing the cellphone as an extension of their friendship cluster. As an accountant, my wife sees no financial reason to do it.

brad howell

Poor kids - if they ever want to do anything, they pretty much have to pay for it themselves.

However - within boundaries - I do not believe teen texting is bad!

I actually think its a positive trend and a great way for teens to interact with each other when they are not physically present.

It certainly is less disruptive to the family than the days when teens would tie up a land line for hours on end.

Teens need the support that their friendships provide. Texting can be a healthy supplement to that. It works for parents too!

Almost every parent who texts their teens feels closer to them. The majority of teens who text with their parents in turn also feel closer to them.

Teens and parents feeling closer to each other? Sounds like a positive outcome for a counter-intuitive New Year's Resolution...

When To Make Sure You Say 'Goodbye' Online

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Among social media users, younger teens are the most likely to filter online interactions only from their own perspective of reality. They have little capacity to view life from another's shoes without being prompted to do so. Additionally, they use their new found Internet independence to gather positive interactions with people they know online - they are very in tune with whether interactions would suggest you like them or not. Consequently, more than anyone else in your SM network, younger teens are the most likely to get a sense that they have been ignored online. This seems to be especially true of younger females, but there are plenty examples of young men that are quick to send an IM the moment they see a green icon light up online and looking for affirmation from you.

Teens reaching out to you online is a great thing - it reveals that they value your relationship. Using social media to reinforce relationships with younger teens in your life is good for them - it helps build 'social capital' - an important ingredient on the journey to adulthood. The reason they view the interaction pretty much only from their definition of reality is because they are concrete thinkers. It goes with the territory. So, when the conversation needs to be wrapped up (and it would practically never end without a pop up video of a dancing kitten), it is an important practice to concretely end the conversation with a solid 'good-bye'.

And, for good measure, why not throw in an emoticon? Everyone loves to stick out their tongue when they get the chance...no?!

  

Want to Feel Closer To Your Teen? Text Them

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One supporting area teens need to successfully transition from childhood to adulthood is a sense of closeness to emotionally encouraging adults - like parents for example. Feelings of closeness is about the strengths of bonds between parents and kids. Like all needs, closeness is rated from the perspective of the child, not the parent. To that end, research indicates that almost 2/3 of teens feel closer to their parents when they exchange text messages with them. That in itself is a pretty good reason to start adding text messages to your relational connection repertoire. For parents however, the number who feel closer to their teens when texting them jumps to 90%. That means almost every parent can feel closer to their teen by exchanging texts. Though no technological tool can replace a quality offline relationship, positive affirmation is always a good thing, and good things tend to replicate themselves.

So send a text to your kids today...just wait until they get out of school to do it - their teachers will thank you.